Full-Time Friend Update

There comes a time, in the midst of an adventure, when it becomes necessary to stand back and take stock. The Full-Time Friend mission has been going on for over two months. I've been working hard to maintain and strengthen the bonds of friendship, but there's always room for improvement. Being a friend is hard work, but it must be done. I need to stay organized, focused, and nimble. I write this down mainly for myself, as a reminder, and also as a way for me to renew my commitment to the ones I love.

This adventure is large and multifaceted. I feel I could easily get lost inside it--and there's been times when I feel like I have, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But, at the same time, it's good to have the proper perspective. And so I set down this post, like a neon marker in the forest, so it will be easier for me to find my way home.

The bike tour has ended but there is still more traveling to be done and more Full-Time Friending to conduct. Where shall I go? Wherever the winds of Friendship lead me, I suppose. I'll be home for a time, but then I'll be heading back out, to travel some more and visit some friends that I don't get to see that often.

One of the goals of this mission is to level my friendship balance. Location matters, it really does, but I must not let location (or convenience) dictate the quality of my friendships. If a friend moves far away, why should I spend less time with him or her? Well, the obvious answer is that it takes more work to visit a friend who is farther away. More work is usually seen as being undesirable. I must avoid this trap.

Of course there are other tools for staying in contact. Phone calls and emails are two of my favorites. Facebook is also popular with many of my friends--and some friends have tried to get me to join--but I'm not joining. I've thought about this for a while, and I'm sticking by my choice. I don't care how popular it is. I have no need for it. Not now. Not on this mission.

I'm not too keen on the way Facebook uses friendship as a marketing and networking tool. Advertisements tend to bother me, which is one reason I enjoy posting content on this blog. There are no adds here, dear Reader, to punish your eyes or deflate your funding. You already have everything you need. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. Don't let the advertisers and the businesses dip their greedy little hands into your bank accounts. They will continue to try--and some of their attempts are quite good, while others are quite laughable--but don't let them get in there.

I learned a long time ago that not spending money is almost the same as making money and then spending it. I also noticed that money lasts longer when you spend it slowly. The Slowest Spender, that should be my new shopping nickname. Although. . . I take that back. The slowest spender is too ambiguous. It makes me think of someone swiping a credit card really slow, like a slow motion scene from a Wes Anderson film. I'll just stick with being a cautious spender, because I really do need to be careful in order to make my money last.

I don't like worrying about money when I'm on the road. I rather focus on the people and the places and the million little details of life. But money makes traveling possible, at least the way I travel, and so I set these words down, again, more as a reminder to myself than anything else.

So I will save my money and spend my time--that's fine with me. Time is my secret weapon. I've stockpiled a lot of it this summer, which is good, because full-time friending necessitates a decent about of time.

The idea of being a full-time friend actually came to me a few years ago when I was staying up late and writing emails. I realized, that night, how much time it actually takes to stay in touch with people. Letters, phone calls, visits--these things take time. How much time? Well, I pondered, a seriously committed full-time friend could probably fill a regular-sized work week with friending activities, especially if one's family is included in the world of Friendship. And why not? The members of my family are my oldest and closest friends. Late at night, when I'm thinking in the quiet of my room, I sometimes think about the dedication of my first book, and how I would word it, for my family would most surely have to be mentioned there.

Now, the publishing of my first book is probably a long while off (I'm not being negative, just realistic), so I might as well get some thanking done now. It's late. It's quiet. And it's time to thank.

Thanks to all my family and friends. I am very lucky to have so many fine companions on this journey of life. And a special thank you to my parents, Monica and Steven, my brother Chris and my sister Janice, and to my grandparents: Donald and Anna Mae, and Michael and Margaret. I love you all more than words can tell.